Wednesday, December 30
Living away from home, in a new city, with absolute strangers has been everything people say it is and more -- It's addictive. I wonder if I can ever go back to living at home at all.
Don't get me wrong. Coming back home for the term-end has been awesome too. The comforts of home. Don't even get me started. And the weather. Oh, the weather. This is the kind of winters that I remember of Hyd from childhood. I didn't even realise how cold it had gotten until Demon Kid took me on a midnight ride on his bike (I might drop dead after saying this but I think I quite like the feel of Avenger. Yeah, I didn't think I'd ever admit it. But there. It gave me a total high)
And then there was Cud's 22nd which was super fun. We started off with lunch at 10D (which BTW beats the pants off Chennai's) and to Amen's in the evening where we cut a makeshift cake and then divine Pani-puri at a TB like fellow's and finally chinese take-out from Flyovers for dinner. Really, it couldn't have been more perfect. Save for Jughead. I miss her so much. Inshallah, she will be with us soon.
Back to Christmas (or wait, was it the day before or after... so whatever) that we went and watched 3 Idiots and Twilight II back-to-back. So here's the thing. Amen used her best-friend influence to drag a kicking-and-screaming me to the theatre because I wanted to watch Avatar and not 3 Idiots. Much to my dismay and her glee, I quite liked the movie. Especially the first half. It cracked me up despite all my reservations and I even enjoyed all the unnecessary drama in the second half. It was definitely one of the better ones I watched this season. Now, I wish I could say something or well, just anything nice about Twilight II. I can't. Though the aboriginal fellow, I should mention, is truly magnificent in his beauty and trust me, so much more for the eyes than that Cullen guy. Still, don't watch it. It's long. And boring. Very very boring.
I didn't mind it all that much though because I spent more time with Amen and Cud in the past week than I think I did the whole year. I hope we do a lot more before I leave.
Oh and before I move on from Christmas, I love this year's so much more because Kiwi Boy got me two brilliant volumes of Calvin & Hobbes and an MJ poster. And, then, Human Pillow got me wind chimes which I absolutely adore. I love these guys, I truly do.
And today, I went to the office to catch up with everyone here. It didn't occur to me until then, how much I missed my sodexho and the money and all. Okay, so, yeah I miss the people too. What the hell, I might as well admit it. I miss them a lot. I just know that I'll never ever work with such a cool gang ever again. In fact, I think I was so excited talking to all of them, I couldn't even eat. Instead I ate up most of their working hours; feeling guilty and fearing that Madcow would throw me out.
But Madcow (I know, I know. I said, I'll stop calling him that. But I have no idea what else to call him.) was so exceedingly nice to me, I felt like a prized heel over and over again every time he brought up the blog. I couldn't even remember whatever the devil was that made me think he was a villain in the first place. Anyway, so every time I opened my mouth to say something to him, it was a lame apology trying to roll off my tongue. So, I just shut up and nodded for the most part until it was time for goodbye.
Oh, but the Evil Head of HR, who unlike Madcow, really is evil, refused point-blank to hire me back! I know. What the hell, right? Hmphf. But hey, I get it. If he took me back, he'd have to hire me at a super high level, what with my talent and qualifications and all that, which would give others my age a complex thereby promoting dissatisfaction among my peer group, which of course would be bad for the Firm. That's it. Damn, but I'm getting good at this.
Getting back from alternative universe, I'm all set to go to that lame biggest, hippest and whateverest New Year's thing. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll just snuggle in with a good book and great ice cream and just go to sleep at the stroke of the midnight hour. As I think everyone should.
Either way, I'm off hatchlings. See ya on the other side. Toodles.
Pssss..: To all, a Happy New Year!
Tuesday, November 10
Monday, November 2
Monday, October 26
Prof: How was the class?
Sunday, October 11
Sunday, October 4
I've been here two days and I'm so in love that I can't see anything straight. If you asked me now, I'd probably swear by my life that even the rain here is sweeter than that in Chennai. But since half of our state is currently being submerged, I should probably keep my mouth shut, yeah? I think so too. Anyway, but you get my drift, right?
Wednesday, September 23
Anyway, on with my life then.
Academically, there has been intense activity in the past weeks. The good news is that I've finished with an ultra serious exam this morning thereby ending the core curriculum for the term. Now, I lift my arms and pray, to be only a C+ or higher, I pray. Completion of pending projects will form the crux of my next week. And then, and then, the end-of-term holidays (which is okay, really only 3 days) and I leave for home! So, I'm already making lists of all the things I need to do/buy/eat when I get home.
But what's really keeping me happy, now that I have a super internet connection, is all the things I'm back to doing -- writing e-mails to old friends, playing pool & literati with random strangers, lengthy chat sessions with He-man, et cetera. I didn't realise how much I missed doing these things until I got back to doing them. It's inexplicable. I love the anticipation that comes with waiting for the inbox to open and then to see a certain someone's e-mail in it. Or to spend a lazy sunday afternoon competing for a pool or literati championship. And then, my chat sessions with He-man. I still spend hours laughing and crying while pouring over our past chats. Oh, I know, it's silly. But I simply can't help it. If you haven't noticed, nothing affects me quite like the written word.
That said, I've been a good little girl. For 23 days to this date, to be exact. Like it or not, right or wrong, it will end this time around. Erasing everything helps. Thanks wikihow.com
May I find some peace and quiet. And reptileless dreams. Amen.
PS: Facebook says my favorite sexual position is so and so. I can't believe it. Really? That?! Strange. Very strange!
Wednesday, September 9
Addition to Addiction List - Ironing. I love it. Seriously. There is something about smoothing every single crease in my clothes that resonates with my OCDs. Besides, I just really like the warmth of freshly laundered clothes.
No, I'm not yet there. I will be in a few. Get me gummy bears when you come to visit me. I heard all asylums allow soft toys because they enjoy seeing inmates fight over them. Don't forget.
Baah, anyway, the good news is that each week is flowing into the next. Sometimes, I'm not too sure what I'm doing when I'm doing it but I'm being utterly mature and just going with the flow. Made friends with a decent bunch. So we hang out in the 'campus' ( they keep insisting, for some absurd reason, that we call it that). It's just two buildings really, facing each other, with a solitary tree in between, and an unhygenic water body (which again, for some absurd reason, they want us to call a lotus pond) to a corner. Sometimes, we venture into the city ( which also again, for some absurd reason, they call a metro) and eat food (yawn, which they insist we call 'south-indian cuisine'). The three delicacies, which I've found exclusive to Chennai - The 'Pau Baji', The 'Madras Briyani' and 'The Gobi Manjuria'. I can't really suggest a place because each joint makes a version unique to itself, so I suggest you try all that you have the courage for.
Since, there is no hope of ever seeing what I would call a real man in this part of the world, I've resorted to watching movies like Twilight. Now, I want a vegetarian vampire of my own too. But I would prefer it if he wasn't some two hundred shades fairer than me.
You will notice that I'm flitting from thought to thought as it appears in my head. Besides the fact that I have an early morning lecture about reporting from Gaza and that I have had no sleep in the past week, I'm doing this because of the lightening fast internet connection I've got. By lightening fast, I mean that it appears for a flash and is gone the next. So I'm hurrying it a little bit. I realise I would have saved a lot of word count/time/effort if I had spared you the explanation but I just had to tell you, you know.
Okay, okay, the real reason? Its 09/09/09 and I sorta wanted to post today. Even if I had nothing to say. Which I did not. The grammar lady says I shouldn't use too many negatives. But, I can't not not write that in negative. See?
Oh, oh, oh. But I'm not done yet. Two things more only, I promise. Our CM popped! Can't say I mourned. But I did write a nice headline for him in Editing class. But seriously, I'll die if his son comes to power. All of us will.
I can't believe I left this for the last. Well, you know how I wrote this post about things-to-do in the next year, some four years ago? Now, I can cross three off the list. I have a passport. I have my drivers license and I got the folks to finalise on buying a house. So, if you want to be really technical, I didn't. And it's a really really old house. But it's nice and cozy, I'm told. And that, for a family of zamindari descent, which didn't believe in owning property. Damn neat, huh?
Lastly, King Kong left for his Hong Kong home today. Every friend of mine, without exception, leaves the country and stays outside. I really should stop this J school nonsense and open a visa business, no?
Thursday, August 27
I stumbled through the dark towards the phone by the window. Even in my inebriated state, I knew her number as well as my own. The past six months hadn't affected my memory. With every digit that I dialled, I felt my heart pound. Would she answer; would she not?
The wait seemed forever. Then, I heard her voice. But I could not muster the courage to speak. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I wondered why she didn't hang up. Did she recognize me, even in my silence? She always did before. All the things left unsaid screamed to be let out. But only silence flowed through the telephone wire. It had always been like this between us, each waiting for the other to make the first move.
The rain drops pattered and the thunder crashed. It was just me and her, and the sounds of silence between us.
This was a little something that a bunch of us wrote in grammar class. It was of course, impromptu. Each of us took turns making a sentence; just taking off from where the other had left. With every line the story changed. Until the very end, no one knew where it was going.
Well, what do you think?
Whatever you think, I absolutely dig it and I'm going to do more of this kind.
Tuesday, August 25
I just realised that I haven't talked too much about my life here, have I? Let's rectify that.
It seems like I've taken to it pretty well. Why else would I find some guy sleeping in my room and not even be fazed by it. He had slept in my bed the previous night, I heard, and yet I still feel nothing. I've been living without drinking water for the past two weeks so I now drink cheap packaged water. I walk into people making-out in the common room and I sit next to them and watch T.V. After a month here, nothing surprises me anymore. Pretty cool, huh?
Chennai is cruel. I haven't changed my mind about that. I have a list of all the things I hate about the place; I'll put it up the moment it touches 100, which I'm sure it will in the next week or so. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a little. But its true, I do have a hate list and I will put it up whenever I update next.
Aside: A certain someone I met in a supermarket. Decidedly cute and funny. Definitely not from Chennai. A design student, I learned. What are the odds we'll run into each other again, you reckon?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
***My reply to a special letter to the author***.
I got mad about you first time I seeing you. I remembering every thing of you. But I don't think you will remembering me. You didn't even answering to my hellos and byes. I thinking you got shy.
>> I'm sorry because of me, you went mad, dear X. I did forgetting you, sorry again. You are right, shy must have been coming on me which is why I didn't hiing, byeing you. Thousand sorries for that also.
I finding out this two months before and again I loving your writing also. Youre so intelligent and so funny. Its your beautifulness that I liking very very much. Youre no like no other girls. Till now I staying inside closet but I come out now.
>> Great to know people like you like my writing. A pity I made you come out of the closet. Please go back inside. And thank you for liking me; I didn't know I had so much beautifulness.
You writing again and again of your boysfriends this blue shirt and that rr, I making you forgetting them forever. I giving you everything.
>> Thanks for offering to erase my memory for me, dear X. Neither this Blue Shirt nor that RR has ever wanting to do anything like this for me.
I am loving you now. You loving me also. If you saying no I still loving you but I leaving you but you writing here why. If you saying yes give your phone so I calling you. After I marrying you.
>> I'm flattered like anything that you chose me, dear X. It being very hard for me but I cannot loving or marrying you. I loving my boysfriends. So, I can't giving you my phone. You leaving me now.
See, now I byeing you.
Tuesday, August 18
More than you'll ever know.
Thursday, August 6
As predicted, I was quite morose for most of yesterday despite all the wishes that came the way. But towards the evening after talking to Jughead and Ha and King Kong and Eye Candy, suddenly everything felt better. You know how it is with friends. The warm fuzzy feeling, that. If I were the mushy type, I'd have thanked all of them for being there and told them that they are some of my most favorite people on Earth. But since, I'm not. I did not.
So anyway, I finally stopped wallowing, got off my ass and went to dinner with a couple of friends. We hit this cosy little place called 'Clay Oven' and I had my first respectable meal since moving to Chennai. The girls came back to the room and we yapped away into the night. It was like being back with the gang. Almost, but not quite.
Aha! I see I forgot to mention the big highlight of my day – Goofy!!! That’s my gold fish, in case you’re wondering. Can you believe it? I have a pet. Aghori got him for me. It’s certainly one of the best birthday gifts I ever got. I always hate that no one knows what to get me for my birthday. But she did. She’s whacko crazy. Then again, so am I. Maybe that’s why we gel so well.
Enough talk, time you saw him. Ta-da!
Well? What'dya think? I think he's great. Initially, I freaked a little bit. But now that I've had some time to get used to the idea, I love him. He's funny and moody and just perfect.
It was a happy ending and that's all I could ever have asked for.
Friday, July 24
That's my life for you, as it is.
Having been the goose that I have been, I promised myself that I wouldn't crib. Especially, not after having said all those things about "doing what is close to my heart" and all that rubbish.
So, I'll just say two things
One: I'll never admit it otherwise but here it is - I miss these guys like mad. All of them. Hawkeye. Eye Candy. King Kong. Ha. Tiny Woman. Gobbler. Mommy Depp. Amen. Jughead. Cud. Psycho. RR. Even all the people I can't think of just now. Is this homesickness or have I just turned into a wimp?
Two: Help! Somebody. Anybody. Just get me the hell outta here. Please?!
PS : I was on an INS - FAC today. Honest to God! A Fast Attack Craft of the Indian Navy, just in case you weren't impressed. It was the coolest thing ever. Remind me to talk about it the next time**.
**If I am still alive and kicking, I will tell you all. I promise.
Thursday, July 2
On second thought, maybe, it has nothing to do with lost causes at all. Because why then would I, for the past two hours, kept my fingers (on both hands and toes) crossed until I saw Roddick into the Semis? Maybe, it has everything to do with being a Leo. Leos are known for their undying loyalty towards those they love. And I am your proverbial Leo. It’s hard for me not to tire of people or things. Because I do, easily. But if I don’t and I start liking something, I can’t stop.
Like I fell for MJ when I first heard Black or White back in my sixth grade. I remember playing the tape over and over for the song until I memorized every lyric, note and nuance of it. So many favourites followed and so much has changed since then. But to this day, no matter who says what, I still adore him. As much as ever, if not more. People who think it good riddance don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. When I heard the news, I wept unabashedly for him. He was an extraordinary person and one of the greatest artistes the world has ever seen and I won’t let anyone tell me differently. Rest in Peace, my friend. I love you.
I know it’s crazy to defend dubious characters. Or to empty my wallet to hungry kids. Or to worry about world affairs. Or to wish for happy endings. In fact, it might be just about the stupidest way to go about life. But, it’s mine to live and this is the way I choose to live it.
Sunday, June 21
I'm going to the best J school in the country to learn how to write. It's nothing short of borderline suicide. Trust me, I know. I will die trying to cope with the workload; if I haven't already drowned in my sweat and died by then, that is. Considering that its Chennai, I'd actually bet on it. But the point is that I'm still willing.
I might drop out of the course midway. I might top the class and end up a penniless journalist. I might learn that writing is not really my cuppa tea. Or I might just do alright. Every which way, it's an acceptable risk. It's time I found out how good I really am.
All the idealistic bullshit aside, leaving home is going to be *gulp* tough. I already know all the things I'll miss about Hyd. That is not counting work, Amen, home and metered autos amongst them. Because, then I will weep. And, O' my Buddha! The apple of my eye. The cherry on my cake. The love of my life. How do I leave thee? How?
But yes, yes, I know. The show must go on.
And, go on, it will.
Sunday, June 14
Last week in itself was awesome, by the way. I went out every single night and came back home at some odd hour of the morning, having had the time of my life. Despite us being as severely sleep deprived as were (plus hurting, in my case) we still managed to have kick ass fun before Ha left and that made it all worth it.
This week, in stark contrast, has been dreadful. Work has been about appraisals, which I've thoroughly come to detest/loathe/hate/abhor/despise, call it what you want. Sigh. I know. I should be overjoyed just to have a job and all that. Right. Yeah. Okay. Whatever. That's how I feel and fat load of good knowing all that is doing to my spirit.
In fact, for some freaky reason I seem to have, what can only be called, a pit of dread in my stomach these days that has me thinking all sorts of morbid thoughts. Seriously! Its gnawing away at me so hard, I can barely keep it in check. Did anyone ever die of paranoia, I wonder? No? Well, there can always be a first, I suppose.
Talking of dying, the trip to Chennai was as close to hell as I ever got. I have no doubt that I'd die if I was ever made to live in that place. As it is, in the three days I was there, I wilted and shriveled and melted and dried and then died. Like really. The people there must be of a different make to live like that. Anyhow, I'm back home and earlier than I'd have dared hoped at that. Safe, sound and none the worse for wear.
Next week promises to bring some relief. But then again, the Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills, yeah?
That said, time for my closing statements. Headlines from the good news desk -- Another cousin kneels at the matrimonial altar. Is betrothed to the love of her life. Cud and I talk. Was just like old times. Best of all - Blue Shirt and I. At last, we're cool.
PS: Watched Kite Runner on the flight. It's decent. The Egyptian - Khalid Abdullah, is more than that... he's gorgeous.
Thursday, May 28
I can count, off the top of my head, at least twenty cases of this syndrome that I have been witness to. With a few variations maybe, but with inevitably the same ending - tragic. For either or both the parties. God, I should know. Very much been there and done that, you see. And it is ugly, I'll tell you that. Coming out of it suspecting every friend you got, measuring every word you say, fearing (and hating yourself for even worrying) that your friend is going to tell you one day that he's in love with you.
Today though, I saw a guy's side to it. The thing that impressed me the most was that he owned up to it. He didn't flinch. Didn't discount his feelings or retract once even in face of her blatant rejection. Just handled it with a sort of dignity that is rarely found in men. I was more proud of him than I can ever remember being of any male friend I ever had.
Until now, I never saw what the whole fuss about dating was. I thought it was pretty much the the same as hanging out with a friend. I get it now. A 'date' is a declaration of intent. It is like saying, " Hey, I think there's something between us, wanna give it a shot and see where it goes?". It's coming out in the open and saying here's what. As compared to going out with a friend which can be so many things. Amongst others, it can either be genuinely platonic and completely innocent. Or it can be with one or both wondering all the time what the fuck the deal is between them.
I hate knowing these things. Because every time you learn something new, it robs you of your faith in the old. Of the warm and fuzzy comfort that ignorance allows you.
I hate growing up! Absolutely, completely and totally hate it.
Tuesday, May 26
Oh, if I didn't tell you guys already, you should know that I have an addictive personality. Coupled with an OCD, if you want to get technical. Seriously, I do. I'm hooked on to so many things, its not funny. Thankfully, they dont include coffee, booze, dope, sex or cigarettes. Yet. Well, the cigarettes mainly coz I know I won't quit if I start. Still, I'm entitled to be extremely proud of myself, I think.
Now about the things that I am addicted to currently. Let's see. Travel & Living. Batman. Orbit. Ayn Rand. Pani Puri. Yahoo Pool. Moon Sparkle. Cell phone. Day Dreams. Money. Sarcasm. Lidor truffles. Slothiness. Floaters. Laptop. Dove. Happy endings. Dexter. Cold Stone. A/C. Undercolors. Crossword. French Open. Superlatives. Wet wipes. Memoirs of a Geisha. Fight Club. Volini. Trebuchet MS. Passion Berry. Lists. Pac-Man. Blog.
And this is just the censored stuff. Excluding the OCDs. What the hell, I might as well admit it, this is pretty much it. Not too many additions to that list either. What can I say? I'm in this weird never-been-in-before phase of crushlessness. It's true. Not one single reel or real life interest. And that has never happened before. Then again, that was a time when Roddick hadn't married some bimbo named Brooklyn (C'mon! that isn't even a real name forgodsakes!!!) and I was stupid enough to get involved with Blue Shirt. Mercifully, those days have passed and I'm now free, free, free.
>>Aside: Note to interested parties, if any. If you strongly think that I might even think you remotely interesting, write to me with your particulars. (Height. Elder brother, dimples, surname. Almost forgot - Rich, yes? That sorta thing.) If not, please just disappear! Now, if on the other hand, you satisfy (all the stuff mentioned in the last parenthesis), please ignore this tiny little outburst. I'm usually the gentlest of creatures, really. I would never hurt anything except a cat. And, I never lie about anything. Except for trivial things like lying. But that's the only one, truly!
Aaaha! Something else I've been dying to write about but could never remember. So, here's what. Boxer sent me a link to a real story recently, in which this chic got hitched to one of the commentators on her blog! Admittedly, only a handful of people read the blog. Even fewer bother to ever comment. I don't even get a few anon comments. How rude! And how damn depressing! I think, I will stop writing altogether or start a new blog which I'll keep completely anonymous and maybe silently market until I'm getting at least 20 comments a post. At least that way, I'll know my readers are all not just sick voyeurs and care maybe just a teeny weeny meeny bit about what I write!!!
*Takes deep breath*. Mutters So-ham (meditation AOL style) repeatedly until she's can't make out if she's saying so-ham or ham-so or ho-sam .
*Shakes head in disgust.*
*Goes to Bed*
*Is Still Fuming*
Monday, May 25
And, that was that.
I realized then how much I miss it - meeting new and interesting people. Yeah I know, I can meet tons of new people at work if I wanted. I'm the HR after all. But the point is, I don't want to. Most of the guys I meet there are so stereotypical and fake and above all so utterly boring, they make me want to cry. Then again, I can't in all honesty complain either because I'm an another me at work too. A very polite, dull, indifferent, introverted and censored version of me.
Blah. I completely lost track of where this is going. Who cares about all that anyway? Especially when I saw us creaming Royal Challengers in the IPL just now. I'm so kicked! And, for all those who laughed when I said we were going to win? Two words - UP YOURS!
Things I hate just now :
1. Guys who use too much of "I don't know's" and "hmmm's".
2. That damn Pacman game.
3. The injured arm which refuses to heal.
4. Not having money to buy a new cellphone.
5. Work that I have to wake up to go every effing morning.
Sunday, May 17
I promised myself that I won't broach the topic of relationships any time soon, what with so many bigger and more important things like the elections and all happening; the outcome of which by the way, I'm glad I didn't bet on at the dinner party last night. I'm mightily pissed off at all the people who didn't vote. And at those who didn't know who to vote for and so just voted for the prettiest symbol on the list anyway. Bloody Buffaloes. Thanks to them, I have to endure another term of that despicable man as Chief Minister. I'm quite kicked about the Gandhi scion and the latest Deora though. They look deliciously promising. What they'll do is quite another matter altogether.
Oh and yeah, Madcow threw us that random dinner party. It was quite nice. And, I should totally stop calling him that. Now that I know him a little bit, he seems kinda cool, fun almost. Even if he's responsible for our stationery room at work going barren. But then again, companies like ours would not be afloat without people like him. So, I guess, he's alright. As much as I'd like to, I can't say the same for Mr. Pumpkin. Every time I see him, I fantasize a large bulls eye sign painted right on the center of his super large ego-inflated head. Imagine. Considering the sheer size of it, I would never even miss. With that record, what do you know, they might send me to the 2010 Winter Olympics and award me a platinum medal too. Hey! Impossible is nothing. Aishwarya Rai became an actress, didn't she?
More seriously, while on the topic of sport, I just have to write about IPL and ergo, the brand new love of my life - Rohit Sharma. I was at Sports Bar watching our match today and I could have kissed him till the end of time for the way he played tonight. I'm a fan alright. And some more, if he wants to know. Also, since I can't seem to spend two hours without someone talking about them, here goes. Yes, I like Zoozoos. And yes, I know they use real people in those ads. No, its not FYI anymore. For godsakes, everyone knows. Yeah, everyone. Even the real Zoozoos existing on another planets.
Relationships!!! Right. I was coming to that. So, I spent most of the week watching Ha worry herself sick over Grapher. She loves him to pieces. Then, I saw Pink Panther cry over someone. And, there was Jughead who couldn't stop fretting over Ice cream boy. I don't get it. These are some of the nicest people I know and they care deeply for the people they love. When most people of the normal world, even blind bats such as me, see it, why can't them jerks?!
Sunday, May 10
Anyway, so I might as well tell you about how it went.
Pretty soon, I’m going to go into a work cum boredom induced coma. Or kill myself, for the lack of a more interesting thing to do at work. Hmmm. Maybe, I should start accepting bets on it. About which will come first or something of that sort, you know. Seriously, who knows? If they find it interesting enough, I will have safely insured myself for the afterlife. Man, it sucks.
But that’s not to say that all has been so grim. Things have looked up on certain other fronts. I can’t really write about it here coz let’s just say I don’t kiss and tell. Well, not that that happened. Something, equally beautiful but.
I just can’t seem to stop smiling every time I think about ‘it’. Quite embarrassing dammit – this stupid adolescent school girl type behaviour of mine. Believe me when I say that I’m rarely like that. In fact, the last time I felt like this was when that cute guitarist at the hotel played Romeo & Juliet for me, “the pretty little lady in red.” Oh, just in case you are wondering if there was some other lady in red, there wasn’t. I checked. Carefully. Twice.
And today, I met this guy, when Dad and I went on our usual Sunday house hunting marathon. He opened the door to his house and it was a crush on first sight. I was more than half in lust with him when a woman walked in to the room. You know how there is this one endless moment when you see a woman with the guy of your interest and hope against hope that the word he’ll use to explain her is sister or mother or daughter or maid or hell anything, except a wife/girl friend? Well, I lived that moment. Wife, as it turned out.
Why God? Why?
Why do you throw me in the path of such happily married men and tempt me with forbidden fruit thus? I demand to know.
Tuesday, May 5
Maybe because I pushed everything else to the back of my mind and got into kick ass work mode, or because the arm behaved nicely, I even had quite a good day at work today. I came back home and talked to the plants. One of them is flowering. I'm going to have a real garden, flaura & fauna et all. God, I'm so kicked. Anyway so then, Amen came over and we snuck up to the terrace to just lay back and watch the stars. It was, for the want of a better word, cathartic.
At that moment, I realised what a wuss I was being all this time. Cribbing about work and friends and well, everything. It's over now. Two months. That's what I'm giving myself. To change. A very "Yes, I can" type of change at that. It's about time too. Before you tax your sad little grey cells, of course, I have a list. And duh!, no, I'm not putting it out here. There is still such a thing as privacy, even if most don't know what it means.
Starting now, I'm going to go have some fun. Enough of fretting about why a certain 'friend' did that to me or how I'll ever get to do something interesting at work. I don't give a damn anymore. I have more important things on my list now. Things that are good for me. Things that'll end life as I knew it.
I can barely wait for tommorrow to dawn. For a new day, a new beginning.
Friday, May 1
The arm that I injured during the go-karting accident is getting worse by the day. It hurts so much I feel tears prickling at my eyes everytime the pain killers start to wear off. To add to this miserable state, I come to know that Ha has put in her papers. I can't stand the idea of work without her around. And, she's not even going to be in the city. Now, I have a brand new reason to hate Bengaluru. I do.
Since this is a whiny post, I can't really put stuff about Assy's trip here. Because that was fun. Both of us went bankrupt in the process which I think made it even better. He got me tons of stuff. I got him a Zippo. Damn, but I love Zippo's. I think they make the perfect gift for a guy.
Got a tarot reading done. Here's what - My career is apparently going to be excellent. My relationships are going to be a mess. Yeah! Like I needed the Knight of Swords to tell me that. Sheesh. Then, there was something about the shadow of the past looming large on the future stuff. Pilot Guy, New Kid, who?
My arm is throbbing again. Another bloody day at work tommorrow. It's sadder than I'm making it sound - My life.
What am I going to do about it? Live with it. What else?
PS: Those who didn't/don't intend to vote - SHAME ON YOU!
Friday, April 24
But to my delight, Assy is here. Albeit for a few days. But that's okay. It's enough. After all that waiting, it seems almost unreal to have him here. We've already spent most of three days together and yet we never seem to run out of things to talk about. Boy, it feels good. I needed my best friend here. For once, I got what I wanted.
We've a city sightseeing tour planned for tomorrow which starts early morning. So I better tuck in now. Or I'm going to be late. And then, we'll have to chase the bus like we did today. That was totally fun but something I’d rather not repeat just now. Today, we went to the Ramoji Film City place. I wonder if that guy's still around. Now there is a guy I don't think I would mind marrying. Oh C'mon! Why not? Two thousand acres of land, a production studio, a media house, chain stores, news channels and whatever else I still didn't find out about.
So, this is the plan: I’ll totally get into script writing. My debut work will be called "How I met your grandfather" which I will sell to the big guy himself. Bowled over by my wit, spontaneity, creativity, imagination, originality and of course, my unlimited capacity for self delusion, he will propose. And, I will accept.
He will nominate me the sole beneficiary of his will. I will take over his estate and live happily ever after. Muhhhaahhhaaaah
Ahem. Will go do that sleep thing now.
Before that, for all those who haven't watched 'Outsourced', please do. It's undoubtedly one of the better movies I watched this season. If you like it, try the series 'Mumbai Calling' on BBC. It's even better.
Wednesday, March 25
So like I said I would, I went to 'Bengaluru' for the weekend. Now, as most of you know, I'm not a big (or a small) fan of the city and have never been the one to actually understand what the mighty fuss was all about. This time though, in the two days that I was there, I caught a glimpse of the city I'd so blindly missed in all my previous trips there.
It was like I was seeing it for the first time; a completely different city emerging from the underneath the shadows of it's seemingly boring veneer. It had a pulse of its own that was almost throbbing in its intensity. Suddenly, I understood why they would despise, so fervently, every other place except their own. And why, they would find any other city, especially a one like Hyderabad, so lifeless.
Around four to five years ago, with my first trip to Mumbai, I had finished seeing every metro in the country. I decided then, that though I liked all of them equally, I'd never want to live in any of them. This trip changed that. For some reason, I could imagine living in that place, meeting 'the One' there, making it my home.
Of course, I squashed all these thoughts even before I could revel in 'em. Even as I'm writing it, my conscience is screaming bloody murder. I think I'll just stop here and move on to another track.
Yeah, so, the trip in itself was kickass fun. I did things I would never have thought myself capable of doing. We were on the streets the whole time we were there, shopping. Until I went broke. For the third time. Food was good. Ate goo at Koshy's, Momos at Tibetian and incredible hot fudge at Corner House. Bought grey market stuff at something-or-the-other plaza. Got seduced by the I Store and madly besotted with Blossoms. And missed going to Pecos!
But to give credit where its due, none of this would have been half as much fun if it hadn't been for Ha and Pink Panther. They were absolutely great. I couldn't have gotten better friends if I'd asked.
I can't wait to go again.
But before that, Chennai beckons. And so does my bed.
Wednesday, March 18
Monday, March 16
Hmmm. Let's see. As a blogger, “I object”. As a student of journalism I say "Definitely not." And, as a citizen of a Sovereign Socialist Secular Democratic Republic, I say "F*** you!"
Why? For one reason and one reason only. Because I can!
That is what a blog is about. It’s about you. Being able to say what you please. You’re not claiming it’s factual. Or that it’s legit. You’re not persuading, forcing or coercing people into agreeing with you. You’re simply exercising your fundamental right to express a personal opinion.
In a public forum, yes. That changes things, sure. We need to be careful about what we say, Yoo Hoo. Responsible publishing, that’s what we need. Agreed. Here’s my question but – What is it and where can I find it? Books? I don’t think so. Newspapers? Chuckle. TV? Yeah, right. So what then? Nothing, that's what.
Okay. For a moment, let’s be imaginative and suppose that we do agree upon the regulations bit. Another of my annoying questions – How does one suggest we implement it? From what I read somewhere, there are more than forty thousand active bloggers in India. And about ten times that, have registered blog accounts. So, how then is content amounting to at least a million pages (and counting) in web space going to be regulated? More importantly, by whom is it going to be done? Who gets to decide what or what not to put on my blog? Finally and most importantly, what is objectionable content?
Will all of us bloggers be given a list of taboo topics we can’t post on? Here's another one. Have a censorship body that has their illiterate geniuses scour our blogs to “regulate” them? Or better. Send us to blog rehabs so that we are cured out of the very urge to blog? Dude, I have to admit. Sounds like a plan, it does.
So, I ask again, should blogs be regulated?
Sure. I'd like to see them try.
Thursday, February 26
Like those fancy writers, I think, I'll start with the weather. Summer has arrived. In school, that would have meant lots of holidays, chess and Rasna. In college, it would been long lazy days in the campus followed by fun sessions under the Bodhi. And tons of Sprite and Mango bars, of course. Now at work, it doesn't matter crap. Be it sweltering heat or freezing cold in the real world, we have one common season all through the year - that of the AC .
It's pathetic but I actually made a list of all the things I should mention in my next post. Now I can't either find or remember even a single thing from it except something about a wisdom tooth. I have one growing rather oddly in some weird corner of my mouth. Its quite painful, really. Please don't be a smartass and tell me to go see one of those dentists. Because I hate dentists. More than I hate snakes. The only thing I hate more than snakes is blood. Which I hate more than milk. Which, by the way, is more than I hate wisdom teeth. So, just leave me be in my misery, alright?
One of the things that I didn't have in my list, but by the worth of 8 Oscars, warrants a mention is, of course, our very own rags-to-riches story - the Slumdog Saga. Object to the film on any cinematic principle all you want, and I'll be the first to second you. But if anyone so much as says one word on the lines of racism or showing India in a poor light or similar nonsense, I swear on all that's unholy, I'm going to dress them in black, bleed them and then leave them on a Tower of Silence for the vultures to feed.
On second thought, I think I know who else I'd like to do that to. The two Arians males in my life, that's who. I've given them way too much importance for my own good. They've expired all credit with me, every last cent and I'm so done with them. Permanently with at least one. But it's about time the both of them find themselves a new doormat. I quit.
The only thing that hasn't changed all that much from the last time is the bit about work. I've too much to do these days and it's taking over so large a portion of my life, that I don't do much outside of it. Strangely enough, I'm okay with it.
So this is "growing up" huh? Because if it is, it kinda sucks.
Sunday, February 8
I'll start with the news. The blog’s famous. Yeah, this one. An unlikely possibility one would say, right? Wrong. A bunch of guys from work, by that I really mean, a bunch of bosses found out and read it. And I wouldn't even have known if it hadn't been for one kind soul that was nice enough to let me know that they know. I’ll tell you, it freaked me out. Because, if he hadn’t... I would have continued being me and probably would have gone on and on about work and such. Not that I’ll stop doing that. Writing for Writing’s Sake and all that, you see. However, I will certainly be censoring it a little bit to save myself from a couple of hundred lawsuits, if not for anything else. But these guys were all pretty cool about it. I think that’s because they were more amused by my antics than annoyed.
Thank you for that God. I now believe in you. Hallowed be thy name.
But seriously, with all the spy movies I watch and the superior criminal intelligence that I’m always boasting about having, you'd think I knew better. Turns out, I'm quite the moron at this sorta thing. Because, even a troll would have known -- Rule No 1: NO SPECIFICS! I did everything short of putting up my birth certificate up here. My god, I can almost see it, the writing on the wall – I’m a stalker’s dream come true!
The two or so things I got out of the whole thing: One, after everything that happened I can feel jubilant about the fact that all said they enjoyed reading the blog. I must be supremely self obsessed if I am capable of that. Two, if you are a fellow moron who is prone to divulging specifics in public forums, always remember that Google Alerts is watching you. Clean your stuff now, trust me, I learnt it the hard way.
Moving on the ‘then there’s news’ bit.
I must’ve aged ten years the past Friday. We had to rush Dad to a hospital at two o’ clock that morning. The doctors at one hospital diagnosed it as pneumonia. Since, we were pretty sure it wasn’t that, we took him to another, where they said that it was a heart attack – his third. Turns out ‘they’ were medical students who were just learning to read an ECG but freely dispensing useless diagnoses to anyone willing to listen. If I knew how, I’d have sued those guys for that. Anyway, when we did get through to the cardiologist, he put some sense into the situation. Finally, it turned out to be some serious gastric ailment, common to patients of the heart. Fortunately, he snapped out of it fine. But they wanted to keep him under observation for a couple of days which meant that I stayed overnight at the hospital with him.
Traumatic doesn’t quite cut it. It was tiring and terrifying and extreme, multiplied hundred.
Only, now that every thing’s okay, I’m able to smile and stuff. Or even write about such two things in the same post. Or else ... no, I don’t think I’d want to go there.
I just genuinely wish never to relive a day like that ever again. Ever.
Wednesday, January 28
Since that would make for a really small post, I thought I'd put some random stuff as it floats through my head just now.
That Stupid Cousin - marrying another Southie like there were no other races to choose from. How am I ever going to survive the wedding? There isn't going to be even a single good looking guy in the vicinity. And Chicago in March, she's kidding me or what! I'm NOT going.
The New Perfume - I think I'm getting drunk on it. In my state of intoxication, I hit upon a brilliant idea. I'm going to use this perfume to snare some filthy rich guy and then use his money to get more perfumes like this made exclusively for me. What do you think?
The Yearly lists - I'm going to get started on them from tomorrow. Should I put them on here? No. Well, maybe. Maybe not. Why not? Yeah, why not. You know what, I think I will.
The Guy - He's beginning to bore the hell out of me. Will I ever find someone who won't? Will I?
Slumdog Millionaire - Why Freida Pinto? Really, why? And yeah, pretty good stuff - the film. But I've seen a lot that were better. Way better.
The Company Party - Coming up. I hate dressing up for these things. Parties are for people who drink, dance and/or hit on other people. Not for people who go to watch these people hit on those people.
Writing - A few say I'm writing differently these days. Really? Hmmm. I don't think so. But then, what do I know? I rarely read most of what I write.
Sleep - Shit! It's 2'o yet again. To bed, NOW!