Sunday, January 6

Things I learned in '07

1. I've turned into a total and irrevocable cyber junkie.

Dating can make you appreciate the beauty of an all-girls.

3. Eating out @ bankruptcy is essential for my state of being.

I contribute more to auto drivers anonymous than I do to CRY.

5. I have the worst sense of fashion this side of Asia.

Making an interview go exactly how you want it to go takes the fun out of getting the job.

7. All that about younger generations being smarter is fresh bull. Look at my juniors if you don't believe me.

8. Learning NOT to say no is still much harder than learning to say no.

9. Making out in a movie theater is an art that requires genuine talent, commitment and patience.

10. My Dad went to an IIM because my Mum challenged him to.

11. A giant clumsy oaf will tend to assume the grace of the Queen of England when standing next to me.

I'm as accommodating as an RTC bus after 7 p.m on a weekday during an auto-strike.

13. Guitars rust beautifully. Trust me. I know.

14. The level of my commitment to a cause is directly dependent upon enjoyment, desire, shame, money or vengeance. In any order.

There's nothing uglier than seeing 50 females wriggle on a dance floor. Nothing.

16. Its hard to lose something no body wants. If you know what I mean.

17. The last sip of beer tastes infinitely better than the first.

18. The life span of a mobile in my hands is at best, half a year and at worst..well, never mind.

19. Pandit S Khujrawalah hit it bulls eye. Arians are responsible for the best and worst things that happen to me.

20. Abdul Kalam is still my President. Madame President Tai can go _______.

21. I hope that the Bachchan family dies the way most narcissists normally do - severe case of overkill.

22. 90 hours of bus travel can cause serious physical and psychological trauma to sane creatures. Insane females on the other hand have fun. They play sleeping beauty.

23. Vegetarians and singletons are rapidly going extinct.Only, nobody's mourning the loss.

24. Addictive substances and artificial intoxicants bore me. Its
the consumption of soft drinks that has exceeded a number beyond which I cannot count.

25. North India is filled with lecherous bastards.

26. The South with impotent idiots.

People don't take me seriously when I tell them that I'm going to die of Alzheimer's. They'll admit I was right. Only I won't remember.

28. Relationships can eventually fuck your happiness. On second thoughts, replace 'can' with 'will'.

29. Gambling professionally is going to be a big part of my life. Its in the blood.

30. Timid looking females can have a fetish for exotic underwear. That's right. Polka dots are supposedly in. For more on this subject, contact Tap.

31. Hips don't lie was a better track when I didn't know what it meant.

32. It is possible to have a real big crush on a guy simply because you happen to dig the way he writes. The fact the he has an adorable twin brother is of course, irrelevant.

33. One more black T-shirt is all that will take, to drive Ramlal (my dobhi) to go shopping for me. It ll happen soon enough. I'll wait.

Writing has become one of those things I could do reasonably well once upon a time but can't anymore.

35. The secret behind my success will never be any milk product. It will be pure & unadulterated jealousy.

36. The only way I'll ever run is if I'm being chased by eunuchs.

37. If Freud's interpretation of dreams is anything to go by, then I must be more sexually frustrated than all the Sisters of Charity put together.

38. The bloody yanks are abducting all my favorite people and making them believe that it is by their own free will. I hate them.

39.The best thing to gift your ex-boyfriend for his birthday is a Venus Fly trap. Or variations of it.

40. Listening to parent's romance is as gross as watching same sex porn.

41. You can break a bone by falling from a side walk.

42. Life without Spencer Reid is like life without Roddick - loveless.

43. Even Harry Potter can disappoint. Terribly.

Watching your bank balance bleed in transaction charges can do serious damage to your mental health.

45. If you wanna learn all about the various types of deaths and graves in a cemetery, ask Paul at St.Johns. Trust me, he knows his stuff.

46. Blue tooth is the best thing that happened to me since battery operated toothbrush.

47. Best friends are irreplaceable. Boyfriends are not.

48. You can't make relationships work. They either do or they don't. After a while, most don't.

Life always has delayed reactions to my plans.

50. Blogging is therapeutic to the blogger's psyche and terminal to the reader's life.

Inspired by Communicatrix and my genetically imbibed love for useless lists.