Holi Hai!

Being the stupid little overgrown village that Chennai is, they decided to not recognize, celebrate, or consider Holi important enough to be declared a holiday tomorrow.  So, the dynamic young world-changers that we are at J, we woke up this morning, took matters into our own hands and said, "Holi Hai!"

Don't ask me how they did it, but an enterprising little committee put it all together and at the end of four hours; rolling, drenching, throwing, rubbing and splashing in color, with song and dance, tens of jugs of bhaang later, the more civilised of us looked like this. 

     A rare moment of respite as we wait for the next song to be played                  Photo: KR

Mine sure was a kickass Holi. I hope yours is too.  To all, a Happy Holi!!!

PS: I suggest cleansing milk, toner, surf excel, face wash, body wash, astringent, pril liquid; a scrub and some more cleansing milk, to regain original skin colour. 

A typical Q&A session at J

Professor: Yes! Since we are done with the lecture, the floor is now open for questions.  Thank you. 

Over Enthu pest: Yes, sir, I have a question. It might sound a little off-track from the course of our discussion here, but it's of my strong belief that it is pertinent to give voice to an inquiry so that it is adequately addressed in the appropriate forum, having being necessarily subjected to the considerable thought that it requires? 

Professor: Oh sure, sure. There is always a need for healthy debate, discourse and dialogue in our classrooms.  In fact, its interesting because I would say that it's the Socratic tradition that we uphold when we engage ourselves in an inquisitive mode of dialogue. Would anyone else like to contribute to this?  No? Okay then, back to the question.  

Over enthu pest: Yes, sir. So, I was thinking that if it doesn't conflict with the current scheme of things, may I switch on the fan?

Professor: That's a very very good question. It's actually quite impressive how intelligent these sessions are turning out to be. It means that you are applying your concepts in class to your day-to-day living. A liberal would be overwhelmed by your enthusiasm. 

Over enthu pest: Thank you sir. 

Professor: So, does anyone else have any questions? 


Another pest: Oh yes sir. I would like to submit that the lecture was highly illuminating. Now, I might be wrong, but from what I gathered from the talk, which again could be argued is a purely empirical exercise; if it would be right if I offered that the author's words can be construed and approached in a multitude of ways, in manner of a different interpretation or a value-judgement if you like, even though one might be caught in an intrinsic dichotomy if one does choose to take this stand while naturally understanding the difficulties of upholding such a superficial construct. 


Yet another pest:  Sir, sir, if I can make a observation on this?


Professor: Of yeah, of course. It's an extremely interesting thought. Please, go on. 

Yet another pest:  Its my thinking that it's imperative to our comprehension of the context that it be understood that we are contemplating a fine line between the physiological constraints of a psychological construct and the psychological barriers of a physiological one. So if that is to be considered as a premise of the structure on which this assumption is to be made, then it follows naturally that it is a premeditated endeavour on the part of the author to have created a text that is deliberately subject to interpretations and therefore, a probable juxtaposition of ideas, in the manner of a post-modernist epistemic.  


A third pest: But Foucault...


A fourth pest:  Sir, if I may, I wonder if it's prudent to take Foucault into account at this junction as it is markedly evident that his school of thought has been allegedly influenced by Kant, who in turn is known to have heavily borrowed from the writings of Hume. So, in effect, we should be looking towards Marx. 


Professor:  Oh, wow. That's an extremely valid point. It's brilliant that you guys are able to delve so deeply into the heart of the lecture and discuss these intricacies with such ease. Does someone want to throw some more weight into the discussion? 


Or is there anyone who is at a loss to comprehend these issues? Oh, don't feel dejected if you do. It is natural that you might. These are very tricky concepts. Alrighty then. It was an extremely enjoyable session. Well done, you guys. See you day after. 


*Class ends*


As we walk out... 


Friend: "WTF was all that about? "


Me: "Oh, that guy wanted to know if a text can be open to different interpretations." 


Friend: "Well, duh? That was a question?!!! We woke up at 8:30 and sat here for the better part of a hour discussing that?" 


Me: "Yes." 


Friend: "Dear god, please save the world from us. In the absence of that, do us a favour and make us illiterate again?" 


Me: "Yes please! Do god, do"  

Still Sleepless!

I promised myself that I wouldn't do this, but here I am, at 3 'o clock in the morning, foregoing yet another night of sleep (5th in a row) to write an entry for an audience that can't be more indifferent. I'm pathetic. Oh, who am I kidding? It's those two baby lizards crawling my walls and my floors. I can't sleep knowing they exist. And, I'm too embarrassed to admit it to anyone or to ask for help. What am I to do?! The mosquitoes, I can still live with. But I HATE the reptile family. All of it. Will they die, like rats, if I cunningly mix their food with something? No, I suppose not. Evil things those. **Shudder**

Anyway, on with my life then.

Academically, there has been intense activity in the past weeks. The good news is that I've finished with an ultra serious exam this morning thereby ending the core curriculum for the term. Now, I lift my arms and pray, to be only a C+ or higher, I pray. Completion of pending projects will form the crux of my next week. And then, and then, the end-of-term holidays (which is okay, really only 3 days) and I leave for home! So, I'm already making lists of all the things I need to do/buy/eat when I get home.

But what's really keeping me happy, now that I have a super internet connection, is all the things I'm back to doing -- writing e-mails to old friends, playing pool & literati with random strangers, lengthy chat sessions with He-man, et cetera. I didn't realise how much I missed doing these things until I got back to doing them. It's inexplicable. I love the anticipation that comes with waiting for the inbox to open and then to see a certain someone's e-mail in it. Or to spend a lazy sunday afternoon competing for a pool or literati championship. And then, my chat sessions with He-man. I still spend hours laughing and crying while pouring over our past chats. Oh, I know, it's silly. But I simply can't help it. If you haven't noticed, nothing affects me quite like the written word.

That said, I've been a good little girl. For 23 days to this date, to be exact. Like it or not, right or wrong, it will end this time around. Erasing everything helps. Thanks wikihow.com

Okay, so sleep has finally come to claim me. Enough to even overcome the lizard aversion. So, I'm going to tuck in now. Going off to Auroville for the weekend.

May I find some peace and quiet. And reptileless dreams. Amen.


PS: Facebook says my favorite sexual position is so and so. I can't believe it. Really? That?! Strange. Very strange!

Come what 'may'

Okay, first the bad news. I didn't make TISS. How bad do I feel about it? Not much. My ego is wounded but that's about it. I feel a little sorry for Dad, he had hopes. For some unknown reason, he still likes to believe I'm IIM material. Sad. For me, it was never even about the course or the place. It was simply about whether I would be able to make the cut. I didn't. No excuses. No regrets. But a tip for someone who wants to make TISS - if they offer to give you admission without the hostel seat, please say YES!

Moving on to the good news. I got my final results last week. I did pretty good. Which means that as of today I'm a full fledged graduate, 'bachelors et all'. I have to admit, it makes for a satisfying thought.

Even other than that, the past two weeks have been immensely productive. I enrolled for that course in NALSAR. I hope to do it justice. And, I got my learner's license. Now I can officially prowl the streets of the city, road rage style. Also, I went to a Strings concert which was surprisingly good, considering that it was free for all. Most importantly, I met with my new doctor, a seriously cool guy. I have a feeling, its the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

That aside, on the occasion of our graduation, all of us - i.e the gang have worked out some predictions for our intended 10 year re-union. They will go here, as on record, for future reference.

Time : December 2018.
Place : My futuristic 'bungalow.'
People : The gang and their partners only (on account of my house being a kids free zone.)

Predictions :

Amen -

Profession - Stay at home mom.
Partner - A dress wearing, beard growing, conservative man of a serious disposition who has a thing for play acting in the bed room.
Kids - 4-5.
State of being - Content with wifely duties.

Jughead -

Profession - An advertising executive/ successful food critic.
Partner - A "healthy" rounded Chef whose love for food will match his love for Jughead and vice versa .
Kids - 2. Both adopted. An exotic looking girl from Africa and blue eyed boy from Britain.
State of being - Hungry.

Cud -

Profession - A hardcore journalist/lecturer/UN official.
Partner- Intelligence Op/Journalist/Banker, preferably artistic, eccentric and insensitive with a non-existant libido and a high ego quotient .
Kids - 1.
State of being - Indifferent.

Pyscho -

Profession - A teacher/erotic or romance writer with an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder coupled with a manic repressive disorder.
Partner - A Good looking, naxal/shady type, with the sensitivity of a little girl and a thing for all things filmy.
Kids - 2.
State of being - Pregnant and horny.

Mini -

Profession - Corporate snob.
Partner - Twice her age/ has a cute elder brother, dimpled and egoistic with an affinity for arrogance and a careless disregard for convention.
Kids - 1.
State of being - Comatose.

The Sister Act

Ten days into the New Year and things are more screwed up than ever before. Today I got yelled at in college, by the PRINCIPAL, for standing at the back of a class! She gave me a lecture on how she didn't expect this from ME and how extremely disappointed she is with my 'disobedience'. At first, I found it incredibly funny and I just couldn't stop laughing at the absurdity of it all. I always fantasized that I'd be expelled from college for doing something outrageously heroic, not for standing at the back of a class?! Sheesh. It was embarrassing to even tell my folks about it. But, the more I think about it the more it cheeses me off. One - I don't like being yelled at when there's no apparent fault of mine. Two - I like it even less when someone accuses me of letting them down. It brings back black memories.

For as long as I remember, people have been telling me how I've disappointed them and how they expected much more from me and how I've never worked hard enough to realise my true potential and such. But in my defense, I've always maintained that WYSIWYG. I've never given anyone any reason to expect anything from me. Yet they do and then accuse me of not living up to them. Somewhere, I know its crazy but it still hurts.

It makes me feel like I appear better than I really am. Like they prefer the pretend me to the real me. Like my best isn't good enough. Like I'm inadequate. Or worse, that beneath all the masks of everyday living I'm just a hollow shell.

MI 06

From the time I have come back home, I have been thinking of ways to write about Moodi and Mumbai. Everything about it is a weird paradox. We did a lot and we did nothing. We wanted to come home but we didn't want to leave. I'm happy here yet I wanna be there. There's so much to tell and I don't know where to start. So, I decided to limit to a list of 5 things that made the trip worth it.

So here are the highlights...

1. The IIT B Campus : The first two days I hated it. It had the feeling of being left out in a desert. Everything looked hopelessly the same and at any point of time you were always nowhere. But gradually, as we started to sketch a mind map with a constant, it started to grow on us. The 600 acres of land, lake and hill started to feel like a maze, just waiting to be entered and explored.

2. The Nites : I can safely say that the nights I spent in Powai - in and around IIT B are some of the best in my life. The concert featuring Sitar funk has to be the most amazing fusion music I have ever seen in my lifetime, one I'm sure I'll not forget in a hurry. And, If Kailash Kher's gig didn't render me to Kailasa, Naresh Kamat (the base Guitarist) sure did. If it wasn't Pronites we were at, then it was taking midnight strolls on the roads of the campus. I'd be willing to bet that those were the witness or even the source for every brainwave that an IITian has ever had.

3. Hiranandani : A stone throw away from the campus, this place is the ultimate hangout for the 'junta' of IIT outside of campus. There's nothing you can't get in there. But food is what steals the thunder from everything else. It houses some of the yummiest food stalls and cafes in all of Mumbai. We went there whenever we wanted a proper meal or a safe haven to retreat to. Pani puri in cafe galleria, candle-light booze in aura's, dabeli in one tiny stall, hundi in Shaolin, ice gola's in chill out and rich chocolat mousse in balloons & ribbons are things that I'll always remember this place by.

4. Mumbaiya nagari: Being a bloody cynic (personally I prefer critic) by nature, I don't take to new cities very fast. For example : I hated Bangalore on sight. It took me about 4 trips to get over it. But, all it took was a drive around Mumbai to furnish my feelings; I was going to like it - a lot. Everything about the city was king size. Its architecture splendid. The blend of the high rise horizons coupled with buildings of British confluence is just beautiful to watch. Enter the night lights and it takes on another entity. It's sure a city that never sleeps. Being a hardcore Hyderabadi, I'd never accustom to the speed of Mumbai and would never even want to, but if for a brief respite, I'd probably chose Mumbai.

5. The 'Junta': Big blue oafs, manas, spineless jellyfish, ogres, five o clock, lick ass lovers, 64 Ferguson cockroaches, mutter to myself boy, junta party, cute bastard, roshesh sarabhai, whisper boy... These are just some of the characters I wouldn't missed meeting for the whole world. Directly or indirectly, they provided us with non-stop entertainment throughout our stay in Mumbai. There are a lot of other characters, orgies, co-ords, CG s and most importantly, the ordinary junta ie. the sundry IITians who have made my trip definitely worth it.

I could go on and on about the innumerable little things that made my day like tamtams, panthers... hostels... sambar... wada pav... jalfrieze...parikrama... so on and so forth but it would still be a lost cause, for the list is simply inexhaustible.

Overtime, Moodi and Mumbai might not mean anything to me but one thing I know will eternally remain the same... It'll always bring a smile to my face or as psycho puts it - a twinkle in my eyes.

Sweet November... ?!!

This month has been crazy. First, I do something I vowed I'll never do. And, if it had involved just me, I would probably've written about it. (taking into consideration my newly developed masochistic tendencies, it would've been truly ecstatic to watch me eat my words. ) While we are there, I take this opportunity to publicly announce that as of November 17th '06, I've crossed onto the dark side. Secondly, I'd like to apologize in general, to all the people I've wrongly judged/condemned on this issue. The people who have been a victim of such behaviour will know what I'm talking about. Damn.... these cryptics are so not my style. If only I wasn't bound by my word, it would've been such great fun to relive that experience.

Moving on to greener pastures, the topic of conversation for the past few weeks in college has been mood indigo and moodi indigo only. Starting at the start, initiating the discussions, planning the details, wading through the deliberations.. its finally paid off. Or so I'd like to think. As of yesterday, the tickets have been confirmed and if everything goes according to plan (which it never does) I should be celebrating my Christmas in Mumbai.

To boast of an achievement, I've managed to put my past experiences behind me... (read my very first post ) and try my hand at driving again.... all thanks to Snea. And, the best part being... I haven't caused any permanent damage to her bike or completely killed her as yet. Yipeeeee!!! I can't but feel proud of myself in situations like this. I think I' ll stop here before I jinx it. I'll write about it only when I cease to be a potential health hazard to all human and animal life forms.

On another dismal note, three friends of mine have all come to me with news. Apparently, all of them have been struck by Cupid. Worse, they sound disgustingly smug. Love notes, e-mails, phone calls, dates, gifts, engagements....???!! I think I'm gonna die listening to all of it. The guys that I thought were so beyond all this crap are now flag bearers of mushhood. Such losers! I hope all of them are in love with the same girl and then kill each other over her. And that's what I'd call poetic justice.

And now, I'm being co-erced into giving a lecture in a national seminar on topics like India's role in SAARC and ASEAN and India's relationship with the US and the EU and a debate on the same. (I know... what the hell!!! rt) I think I know more about the secret sexual desires of single men than International Relations and Indian Politics. To add to it all, there might be a possible involvement of mine in the organization of yet another fete.

If I can get out all this, maybe.. just maybe I' ll begin to believe that there is a God somewhere! Hey... everyone has a right to wishful thinking!