Wednesday, April 11

Epic Moment at the Gym

Day 3 

Me: I was told someone will take down my measurements today

Trainer: Oh, but we have to do that before the work-out. So come back tomorrow. 

Me:  Alright, thanks. 

Trainer: Btw, are you here for weight gain or weight loss?

Me: (Laughs)

I laughed for an hour. Me going to the gym to put on weight. Wouldn't that be something?  

Monday, April 9

Of Sky Lanterns, Gym Diaries & Stupid Boys

Oh, hello there.  Trust you have had a good day? Yeah, mine was fine too.  The weather in the evenings, yes, so agreeable.  What news from my end?  Ummm...let's see

* So, you know how you watch Tangled and then fall in love with sky lanterns?  Yeah, that happened to me. Ever since, I've been plucking random people off the road and asking them if they want to go to Loi Krathong with me. Just when all hope seemed lost, the festival came to me. No, really. Thanks to the Guinness-record bug that seems to have bitten gultis recently, we had, what is probably the country's first sky-lantern festival take place last month, yes, here in sleepy hollow! I went. I saw. I died. And, went to heaven.

If and when I marry, there will be lanterns. Hundreds and hundreds of them.

* Sometimes, I start my workday by catching the latest release at the movies. Then I go to a restaurant of my choice and work my way through their menu, with the chef at my service. Afterwards, go to talk to a documentary filmmaker. Or an author. Or a bartender. Depending on the day. Then, maybe go to an art show, or a play, or a party I've been invited to. And then, write about them all, just like how I would here.

On these days, I forget all the weekends I don't have, holidays I don't get to take and the money I will never earn.

* So, I go the gym now.  That is to say, I skipped two days, and went one day in the three days since I signed up.  But I paid for three months. So I suppose I'm to go. I can already tell the cross-trainer is my mortal enemy. So is that girl with the matching black-and-pink nike sweatpants and her beatific smile and her straight hair and her pesky bottom and her Rockyesque workout regime. Who I'll tell you more about in the coming days. (What do you think about a series called the Gym Diaries?)

Now, I'm all underdoggy. So it only follows that in three months, she's going to get owned. Yeah, we are all about healthy living and positive energy.

* I promised I'd write about the relationship-that-wasn't and the interest-that-be. Last things first. The interest that looked so promising even last month seems to have lost his sheen. Maybe that's what happens when you go out too times and nothing ermm... happens.

In hindsight, its obvious that the relationship-that-wasn't, was never meant to be. The other party was indeed faultless. However, to avoid misunderstandings of this nature, my ingenious mind has come up with the most brilliant solution.

Going forward, I'm going to hand a neatly-written 'please note' note to all interesting males of my acquaintance. It will read

Please note: Should you have any affections for the author of this note that go beyond the definitions of platonic, you must declare your intentions at the earliest opportune moment in no-uncertain terms or hold your peace forever and continue to behave impeccably never allowing even a hint of these feelings to be detected. If you choose the former, but happen to be shy of disposition, you can avail the option of using the unique code in the scratch card provided. During usage, the code word must be accompanied by air quotes to be applicable, so as to avoid any needless confusion or untoward mishaps resulting in unwanted bodily contact or public humiliation for either/both parties. 
Due to the sensitive nature of this communication, kindly burn after reading.  

Yeah, you are right. I should go sleep.