Through the Looking Glass

For the first time ever, I leave for the station with all my stuff packed on time. And what happens? C'mon, you've read the previous posts, you know what's coming.  Yup, I missed the train. That's a first too. I'm not even going to get started on the how of it, because then I won't stop. So let me just stick to the what-happened-after bit. Then, after frantic just-dialling and calling, I find out that every bus heading out today got full on account of tomorrow being the eclipse, when it seems, everyone's just supposed to sit under their beds cowering and not do anything worthwhile. Which of course was invented by some stupid loser with special appeal to a mother's logic. Simply, that means that I'm still in town and will continue to be until the god-damned universe decides to let me make a move. 

I know I should be ecstatic about the whole thing. But I'm not. I'm life's-such-a-b**** sort miserable. It's not. It's fine. I am just sick of being beaten down by things that I can't help - first, missing the covering dep trip and now this. 

And this feeling of being left out that I've been having throughout my stay here. I hang out with all these people that meant something but now I'm always looking at them outside in. And, it's freaky that I can't turn it off, this looking-through-glass mode. It's like seeing a person anew and going through the whole do I like him/her or not routine.  It's not pleasant, this super power. What do I have to call to unsubscribe, dammit?  I want to go back to being normal!