Me: "Banjara Hills"

Auto Driver (AD): "Where in Banjara Hills?" 

Me: "Road no. so and so" 

AD: "Left side, right side? "

Me: "Left side." 

AD: "Down aa, up aa?" 

Me : "Down" 

AD: "Before so so or after so so?" 

Me: "Before." 

AD: "Oh, next to so and so?" 

Me: "Bite me." 

AD : "$$$ only." 

Me:  "WTF? Why?" 

AD : "Traffic, madam!" 

Me: "So? It's a road, so there's traffic. You wanna fly or what?" 

AD:  Aaah..."U-turn madam"

Me: "What U-turn?"

AD: "The U-turn?"

Me:  "It's a straight road. No U-turns and all." 

AD: "No? Ermm..then rain, too much water here there."

Me: "So? How does that matter? "

AD: "Night no madam? "

Me: "Huh? So what, you have night blindness? And besides, its not even 10 o clock!." 

AD: "Aah. Half price, half price. "

Me: "Half price is only after 11, you dip shit!!!"

AD: "No, its from now." 

Me:  "Oh yeah? You want to check with that cop there? "

AD: "Ayyo, what madam, what you are doing like this." 

AD: "Okay, baah, if you are so miserly, give Rs 5 less, the roads are very dirty now"

Me:  "So you charge less on cleaner roads?" 

AD: "Yes, yes." 

Me : "Okay, let's go on that other road then." 

AD: "No, madam,"

Me: "Why?" 

AD: "Just give me $$.$$"

Me: "Tell me one reason why I should give you that and I will." 

AD: "You are ladies." 

Me: "You sick gay bastard. What's has me being a girl gotta do with anything. Do I consume more petrol because I dont have a dick?! !"

AD: "Abba, why you are getting upset madam. I was, simply saying.  So what... you will pay $$$.$$?" 

Me: "Of course not, you dumb f***"Me: "Now f*** off, if you are not going to come by the meter." 

AD: "Meter not working madam" 

Me: "Why the f*** not?"

AD: "It's showing too much bill. Bad for you only. That's why I giving you better price." 

Me: "Very sweet of you, but I think I'll risk the meter."

AD:  "What madam, from that time. I ask just $$., see I earn *((#&*#& per day, and how much you must be earning, what is this tiny amount for you. Last word, what will you give?"

Me: "Ha ha ha. Heh heh heh. Hoo hoo hoo. Muahahaha." 

Oh, dear. Now there's a line you shouldn't crossed. Talking about my salary. Rubbing it in my face. Mistake. Big mistake. Wait, there I see it. A shovel. Plastic bags. Big suitcase. Trash can. Hyderabad is awesome like that. Eternally under construction. Everything you want, right there on the street. 

Me: Change of plan. Know the cemetery on Road no 3?  There, please. 

AD: Okay but that will charge madam, traffic, u-turn, rain, you know? 

Me:  I know. It's fine. 

AD:  You want to come back also? 

Me: Yes, but I think I'll need another auto.