What I say and What I mean

Right. So, where were we? Going home. Right. If I didn't write about it already no point doing it now, is there? Let's just move on and skip that part then? Yes. Move into something more topical, maybe? Good. Let us.

Now, examining the newsworthy events of my non-existent life, what do we have?

Something happened and a dilemma has arisen. To commit or not to commit, that is the question. A very illuminating statement, don't you think? I do too. But for reasons many, that's all I'm saying on this. Shameful to censor on one's own blog, I know. But what to do? Too many prying eyes for comfort or for full disclosure. A cue to move the blog to another track? Hmmm. Perhaps.

As consolation, here's another piece of meat. I hate what I've become here. I'm a compulsive liar now. I lie all the time. To everybody.

Prof: How was the class?

Me (thinks): I didn't listen to a single word of it. That's btw, is a record. I thought X-rated thoughts for four hours. But I still smelt the stink. That's how stinky your class was.

Me: Very thought-provoking. Thanks for the lecture. Was immensely helpful.

Y: Did I do something wrong? Don't you like me any more?

Me (thinks): Yes, you did. You exist. No, I don't. Newsflash: I never did. To be specific, I think you're the algae the feeds on the pond scum that lies underneath the sewage in our acrid lotus pond.

Me: Of course, you didn't. I like you. What made you ever think otherwise?

Z: Hey listen, there's this thing for some close friends this Friday. You wanna go dancing? It'll be fun. I promise.

Me (thinks): Looking the way I am and looking the way you do, you are asking me out? Close friends huh? Wow! Dancing? But why?! We were doing so well until now. Can we sit in a corner and make out instead?

Me: I'd love to have but I already made plans. Sorry.

Z: It's cool. No issues. We can do coffee or catch a movie or something, some other day? If you are not already seeing someone, that is. (Smiles)

Me(thinks): Oh, don't smile. That's not fair. What toothpaste do you use? Wait. He asked you a question. Movie. Right. Dark Lights. Limited space. Sharing armrest. Nachos & Salsa. You got it, dude! Any day. You choose.

Me: Err. No. Not seeing anyone. And really, I'd love to hang out. But I'm truly short of time this trip. Maybe next time?

Z: A gentle let-down, huh? (Smile) Okay, I'll let you get away with it this time. But at least gimme a call when you're in town, okay?

Me (thinks): No, don't let me get away with it. At all. I'm one-of-a-kind! That's why, I won't call.

Me: Sure, I will.

Z: Ciao. (Grins)

Me (thinks): I hate that word. Grrrr.

Me: See ya. (Smiles back)

See what I mean. I don't mean anything I say. I mean, I don't say anything I mean. Baah. You get the point! It's like I'm possessed by a good-Samaritan ghost who needs to only say the right things. Whatever happened to the WYSWYG me? Gaaaah.

And, don't ask me why I won't call him. I just won't.

Oh and how can I forget? Cousin's wedding tomorrow! Yeah, the shameless pig that I am, I'm going to be leaving for her city on her wedding day. But hey, I'm wearing a sari for her! Wait. that means jewellery. Damn. Match-making and relatives. Oh F***.

>>Gulp<<

I mean. Help.

Note: Remember. Peace comes from within. Oh my! Shoes. I mean heels. I don't have any. Never mind, they'll come from somewhere. But grace and elegance and poise? Good God. Whoever thought of celebrating weddings. What's so happy about them anyway?

PS: Mission Impossible IV: Finding a way to the Airport without paying as much as I did for the flight ticket. Good luck to me.

You Know

Read My Friend Sancho.

There. I said it.

I couldn't wait until I got through with three paragraphs of my lifely woes before I came to it. It's my book. I mean, if I ever wrote a book, this is how it'd be. I'd pretend to have a plot -- because it's a novel -- but care really only showing off my wisecracks, get bored half-way through and finally give up the pretence and give it an excuse of an ending. But hey, it's still brilliant writing, his. Almost like mine, you know.

By the way, I have a love life that's almost bursting at it's seams, did you know? Yeah, me either. But well, I do. I'm always on the phone with the first or the second boyfriend. When I get off, I'm online with number three. Or otherwise, I'm with the fourth who I go out with every other night. And, I have something on with someone in class. What can I say? "Not guilty, your honour. It is not what it seems. We're just friends?" I think not.

Exploring the food scene in Chennai has been the theme for the last couple of weeks. Now, I know places that are nice to sit at and places that have good food. Discoveries include a decent Dhaba, a cozy continental place overlooking the beach, a restaurant that serves "contemporary Indian cuisine" and a stall that sells Irani Samosas. Can you imagine the implications of these discoveries? Of course, you don't. It means that maybe, I will survive this rot after all!

Brain food for the week? I've been chancing upon all kinds of things I never knew about people I've known a long time. It's made me wonder about if we ever really know anybody. Not just know. But know. You know.

And then there's this whole thing about live-in's in My Friend Sancho and Wake up Sid and stuff that I've been thinking. I have a theory -- I'm sure it's named after some bugger already -- that everything else being equal, if a man and a woman (Doubt: Is it even politically correct anymore to say a man and a woman without including LGBTs?) are confined to a space and are given enough time; irrespective of how different they might be, will end up together in the end. Not much of a theory. But nevertheless, kinda works...doesn't it?

It's official. No matter how many ever courses I take, it's wasted. I was never, am not, will never be likely to be feminist. Blame it on my all-girls education or the guys in my life, I like my men. That's the bottom-line. It's another matter altogether if I still don't find a guy at 35, start growing plants instead of adopting cats, and turn lesbian. Maybe then, I might turn feminist. But of course, with the current state of my love life, that's never going to happen.

Like all roads lead to Rome, all my posts lead to going home. I'm off to mongooses' tomorrow and to Hyde for the weekend. See you guys on the other side.

To all, a kickass Diwali! Play safe.

Respite.

Dude, seriously, home is it!

I've been here two days and I'm so in love that I can't see anything straight. If you asked me now, I'd probably swear by my life that even the rain here is sweeter than that in Chennai. But since half of our state is currently being submerged, I should probably keep my mouth shut, yeah? I think so too. Anyway, but you get my drift, right?

After that crazy Auroville week when we were ready to die of exhaustion and the one following that when we thought we did die, we somehow floated through to heaven and came home. I needed this.

The first day back, I went out like a light the moment my head touched the pillow. My own bed - the smell, the feel, the warmth, oh what I'll do to take it back with me. Okay, okay, no need for bad words. It's not like I would have gone on to describe the comforts of my bathroom. Though I have to point out, I'm sorely tempted to do. No hair, anywhere. Hot water, everywhere. And no clothes to wash? It's a fairytale. Stop rolling your eyes! This is important stuff. If you want to read national affairs, go read another blog. Sheesh. A girl can't even write about the beauty of her bed in her own blog these days. Double Sheesh!

Where was I? Right, so when I did finally reincarnate, I went out to meet Amen. It's weird but we never hug or say anything. That's how it always is with Amen. No matter how many new friends I make, it's almost always her shoulder that I cry on whenever I'm cross with the world or hateful towards 'man'kind. Not that I actually cry cry. It takes a lot to get me to cry and it's been ages since I've done that. Well, except that one time recently when I wept until I looked like a splotchy rabbit the next day. You should ask the other party why.

For godsakes, what's with me today? At this rate, I'm never going to end this post. Right. Focus!

So, what I was trying to say earlier was that Amen and I watched Dil Bole Hadippa. Now, now. Don't judge me yet. It was the only movie that we got tickets for and let me tell you that it was an okay watch. Really. True, there's no such thing as a plot in the film but there were decent performances rendered all around. Talking of movies, I did watch quite a few- The Kingdom of Heaven (5.50/5) , Requiem for a dream (4/5), Outsourced (3.99/5), Bangkok Dangerous (2/5) and my Mom's new boyfriend (2/5).

You'll never guess who I've been hanging out with. Yes, my bete noire, my arch enemy, my nemesis, my personal monster, my brother, Demon kid! It was then that I really realised how pathetic my life must be for him to be nice to me. But he was and we did some great things.

We went to all my favourite places and I ate as if I was dying the next day. Then we went to Big Flix and rented out a box full of movies that I won't have the time to watch. And then we went shopping. He got me the Last Symbol and hold your breath, he's consented for me to play his X-box! Boy, if this is charity, I'm loving it.

Though I have in mind to bore you further, alas, I have nothing more to say. I leave tomorrow. *Weepy eyes and wobbly chin*. I still have to shop some more, get a haircut, meet some people, eat some more, pack, and just now, go to sleep. If the train does get cancelled, I'll have to get the first flight out on Monday. (Dear God, please give one more day. I won't ask for anything more. Except electricity and internet. And good airfares. And good food. And a good haircut. Promise!)

Next term at J is going to be long and mad. Electives, assignments, stream work, insomnia, projects, paper, quark, chennai. GAAAAHHHHH!!!!